There is no doubt that this concept becomes clearer with some life-experience under your belt. When I was in my early twenties I was convinced I knew my worth, but life taught me a different lesson.
First of all, there was the moment when I realized that there was a huge difference between what I thought I wanted in life and what I actually desired in order to be happy. Then, there is all the conditioning from our environment we are unaware of until much later, often telling us that we need to live life a certain way and do particular things to be normal. And if we accept this or do that, then it will all pay off…in the long run.
But how long does that run need to take?
For me, I learned this the hard way in a long-term relationship, years ago now.
As most of you probably know, ‘integrity’ is one of my top three personal core values and once I give my word, that is it, I stick by what I promised.
However, what do you do when the other party is not adhering to their end of the bargain and respect is no longer served? How long do you uphold this vow?
After analyzing and pondering for quite some time, I thought: My happiness is more important than what people might think about my integrity. After all they did not have a clue what the relationship looked like from the inside. Everything can look like a fairy tale on the outside; however, it can be rotten on the inside…
So, I decided to break free and continue solo.
This was highly necessary, as I had to find ‘the true me’ again after compromising my values and allowing people to treat me with little or no respect. It is incredible how one can lose oneself when in a relationship or as part of a group. Believe me, this can only happen if you don’t pay attention to your own needs and desires, and if communication is a challenge. But it seems more common than we think – it kind of creeps in slowly…and over time becomes a monster that stares you in the eye daily. Therefore, it also takes time to undo the damage through a lot of mindset work and reprogramming. And so, I started my personal development journey by reading many books. Coincidence put a few really interesting people on my path to speed up the process, but, it took a good two years to come to my senses and recognize myself in the mirror and see my worth once again. Nevertheless, I am extremely grateful for the lessons I learned from this experience: The behavior we tolerate will continue. Yes, we teach people how we want to be treated.
Never will I allow anyone to treat me with disrespect and I always speak my mind openly and with conviction. Communication is pivotal in all my relationships and setting boundaries is a must!
Remember that a relationship is an exchange of energy and love, and I feel blessed to have met an incredible soul that matches mine to share my life with.
What a gift it is to love someone, to share in their joys and successes as if it were your own; to want only the best for them with the purest of intentions; to treat their needs and desires equal to yours; to love them with ease and never force; to respect them as you respect yourself. What a gift it is to love and be loved!
And as you read this blog, you too might be contemplating your life circumstances, may it be in a relationship, as part of your family, at work or within a group you below to… I can promise you this: When you truly know your worth, a completely new world will open its doors to you and you will only attract what matches your vibe!