Who doesn’t want to be understood, valued and respected all of the time? Of course, everyone does. And have you ever tried to make a conversation flow, but turned out it was harder than pulling a train with a hair? Here is how you can make things happen.
I am sure someone has asked you about your values, or perhaps you have read or heard something about values, or maybe not? Exploring your values is like getting to know yourself on an entirely new level. But first of all, let’s have a look at what ‘values’ actually are. According to the Oxford English dictionary values are a set of principles or standards of behaviour; It is one’s judgement of what is important in life.
Many people have never even thought about what is crucial or meaningful for them in life or what standards they want to see within their relationships, at work, in the clubs or groups they belong to and even for themselves. ‘Why would this be important?’, you may ask.
If you are not aware of your own values, how can you seek out fellow humans, organisations or situations that align with your values? Or how can you feel entirely comfortable within a team at work if you have no idea about what the company’s values, vision, ethics and morals are? Even more pressing, how can you expect to have an amazing relationship if your partner’s values clash with yours?
Consequently, you have to do the groundwork first, turn inward and ask yourself the following questions – journal it out:
– What kind of behaviour do I value?
– What is important to me in life?
– What kind of traits do I appreciate?
– What standards do I hold for myself and how do I want to be treated within a group setting; may it be in the workplace, in a sports club among friends or in a romantic relationship?
– When was/ am I the happiest? Why was/is that so?
– With who do I like spending time? Why is that so?
– When do I experience fulfilment?
Setting standards and boundaries is absolutely necessary to construct a framework for positive and successful interactions. Once you have determined what your values and standards are, you can start aligning them with likeminded people, organisations, situations, and so on.
Surrounding yourself with individuals, situations, energies that have aligned values will simply make your life much easier and more enjoyable. There will be less disconnect, less judgement and you will experience much more harmony, solely because when values are aligned, everyone is working towards a similar outcome or end result.
Please be aware that there is nothing wrong with people who do not have similar values to yours. There should not be any judgement, just observation and awareness. People are simply different, which is quite a relief, otherwise we would all be the same and this would make the world quite a boring place. Also, your values might change depending on which stage of your life you are in. It is understandable that the values of a teenager will be quite different from those of a retired person. Therefore, as we develop and grow through life-experiences we re-align and reaffirm what is important to us at that point in time.
Once people learn and discover what their personal values are and they understand the importance of values alignment, they can start applying this newly gained knowledge and make choices in a more selective way. As a result, I have seen people do a 180-degree shift in personal happiness levels and drastically improve their job satisfaction, merely because they chose to work within an organisation that was aligned with their values.
Lastly, once we eliminate value discrepancies to the best of our abilities, we can expect smooth sailing through life as we reduce the likelihood of conflict to a minimum. Therefore, I would suggest, start with identifying your values and then align them with the people and/or situations currently in your life. Quite possibly, you can determine the gaps or perhaps you have magically landed in a group that shares your set of values. But highly likely, your penny will drop, and it will become crystal clear why there is/ was certain turbulence in your life.
Now you know what action to undertake to create the harmony you would like to experience in your life!
Happy days! .